Putting it in writing...

I've been putting off writing about our departure from Brooklyn for awhile. Partially because I've been busy, but mostly just because I'm so sad to face the reality of it. I'm in full denial, which isn't too hard because we still aren't really settled anywhere else! (Warning...this is kind of a long explanation.)

I guess we've known this was coming for a long time. Jake signed up for and studied for and TOOK the California Bar Exam this summer so we'd pretty much decided to move to California in March or April. Even then, we kept the possibility of staying in New York in the back of our minds. We really loved living in Brooklyn, despite all the difficulties. Once Kate joined us though, we knew our apartment was too small and it only confirmed our decision. If we would've stayed in NY it would've been years before we could afford a bigger place and our place was too small, too loud, and too high (It was impossible to get 3 sleeping kids up 2 flights of stairs!). We spoke with my parents and decided that when our lease was up in August we would move to Missouri to live with them until Jake found a job in California.

At the beginning of the summer, Jake and I decided it would be best if the kids and I went to Missouri to stay with my parents for a few weeks while he was busy studying for the bar. He was planning on being gone a lot and was also worried about the kids' lack of a schedule making his studying more difficult. So, we left with my parents at the beginning of June when they came out for Jake's graduation. At first, we were sure it was a mistake and that the kids and I should cut our trip short. We missed each other and Jake was studying a lot of subjects he'd just finished studying in school. Then the harder courses started and life switched into high gear. We decided he would come to Missouri for the 4th of July and we'd decide then when the kids and I should come home. By then he was really stressed and we decided to keep things the way they were until the test. So the kids and I stayed in Missouri, planning to return to NY for the month of August.

In the past when we've come to my parents, the kids have taken to it very easily. I think they could tell this time it was different and they had a very hard time adjusting. When we got here, Jackson and Sydney were terrified of even going outside (weird because we spent our lives outside in NY). They never went to bed at a normal time, despite my efforts to PUT them in bed every night at the same time. Mid-July the kids finally started to settle in. Taking all this into consideration, Jake and I decided that we shouldn't try to take the kids back to NY only to bring them back to Missouri while we await bar results and a job, so the kids stayed in Missouri while Jake and I met up in NY to pack our stuff and send it on to MO.

So basically, the kids and I "left" Brooklyn in June. I said goodbye to most of my friends at a baby shower for a friend saying, "We'll be back in July for 2 months, I'll see you then!" In a lot of ways, I'm a little grateful for that because I'm horrible at saying good bye. But I also feel a little unsettled about the whole thing. We just slipped away with very little fanfare...almost like we never lived there. Very sad, since it was such a happy time for us. I just hope we make it back there soon.

Now we're living temporarily with my parents here in Moberly, Missouri. Most likely we'll be here till the end of the year. Jake doesn't hear whether he passed the bar or not until the end of November and most firms will not hire lawyers who have not passed the bar unless it is as an intern and we cannot make enough money on an intern's salary to live in CA! So Jake is currently working as an intern in Columbia (30 miles from here) and we are enjoying living with my parents. Jackson and Sydney love living with Grandma and Grandpa but they miss NY a lot. Jackson asks to go to the park almost every day but then when we get to the park he realizes it's not one of his favorite Brooklyn or NYC parks and he's not really interested. Every time he sees anything to do with NYC on tv he yells..."that's New York where we live!"

We're trying to make the best of this interim time till we move to CA so Jackson has started preschool and will soon start flag football. We don't want him to miss out on all these developmental milestones while we wait to get settled. It works out great though...this preschool is perfect for Jackson; he has a small class so he's getting a lot of personal attention, it's really inexpensive and it's only five minutes from the house.

So there you have it. We bid Brooklyn adieu and we're in flux here in Missouri until we can complete the transplant to CA--hopefully the San Francisco area. I'm working on a "Farewell to Brooklyn" post, coming soon. We'll keep you posted as new events come about. We could luck out and get a job sooner than anticipated. Jake's resume has really been impressing lawyers around here so I'm sure it won't take long for someone to pick him up in CA. Until then, we'll enjoy being around family again while we can.

Comments

Tricia said…
I'll bet you'll miss NY...I loved thinking about you whenever I saw a movie with the NY skyline. But I LOVE knowing you are closer to us. I'm sorry you didn't have a big fanfare for your leaving. Sometimes it's easier, but you feel like it wasn't "THE END" like it should be. Well, I'm still glad you are closer.
* Stephanie said…
Hey Jen,
As I read your post about leaving NY, I felt like I was reading about ourselves. We have had kind of a hard time leaving Milwaukee and all the wonderful friends we had there, and now we are living with my Grandma for a year while Michael does his internship here in Salt Lake, before we head out to Rochester, NY for the next 3 or 4 years of his residency. Although it is great to be staying with family (rent free, and with a lot of extra help with the boys), it is still not the same as having our own home (even though we are enjoying having more space in my grandma's basement than we did in our old apartment). In Milwaukee we lived in a ward where many of the families were young and in the same situation as us -- doing school far away from any relatives -- and so we made lots of good friends there and had friends over a few times a week. We have now moved into a much older ward and have only had friends over a handful of times since we got here in the begining of June. I sometimes feel like our life is on hold for this year until we get out to NY and have our own place to live (and hopefully some friends) again. But we do have relatives around here (especially lots of Michael's family), and the boys' preschool is great -- just one house away from ours. My grandma loves to help watch the boys (which I know I will miss when we are "on our own" again. I guess I keep trying to think of the positive things, instead of all the things we miss. Hope it goes well for you guys and I just wanted you to know that I know how you're feeling right now.
HIJK Skousen said…
Hey Jake and Jen - take a flying leap off a cliff. nobody cares.

Joe
HIJK Skousen said…
Just Kidding! We need to come hang out. I think Wyoming or some other middle meeting place would be good. Good luck with the job Jake. Best of luck with feeling settled. Hopefully on your way out to a high-paying, small, family-oriented firm in California, you'll stop over at our place in Harryman. We have plenty of room. Talk to you soon.

Joe
Pattie said…
oh Jenny i hope it all works out...Good Luck in the future in the mean time give your parents a hug for me...take care...i should come and see you.
HIJK Skousen said…
Jen,

I miss you TONS!!!! I just can't stop thinking about how fun it would be to live close by each other. Could we please get our husbands to work that out? Love you so much!

Heidi
Carrie Anne said…
jen! i related SO WELL to this post! we have been "transitioning" in utah (UGH!) for a year now...i am missing cleveland so badly & can't wait until we get to a place we love. you will love the SF area...hopefully as much as NY...i have had so many of the same feelings you are having...and i'm feeling much better knowing that i am not the only one going through it!:) you are so awesome!
Carrie Anne said…
yes, i will find that play dough recipe for you...i can't remember what month it was, but i'll find it & get it to you!:)

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